Born out of a series of Tweets by @RandBallsStu (#hirestu), an idea by your humble proprietor and a sick thirst to rile up Packers fans for no good reason, we present another edition of “The Increasingly Lost Season.” Stu will continue, tongue-in-cheek, to explain the Packers’ misfortunes as they inevitably tumble into Randy Wright-esque putridity. Stu?
In the most predictable defeat this side of a temperance referendum in Stevens Point, the Packers were walloped by the Carolina Panthers on Sunday.
While the result was unsurprising, there was the lingering question of how Green Bay would handle the loss. They could have displayed a humbled grace, paired with a resolve to get better for the season’s second half.
Or, they could do this:
*Julius Peppers played keepaway with a football that Cam Newton was giving to a fatherless child.
*While that was going on, their fans wanted Newton charged with a crime for removing an illegal Packers banner from the stadium wall. No word on if they want arson charges for Newton setting their secondary on fire, too.
*Meanwhile, the only actual destruction of property was committed by the lesser of Sunday’s two starting quarterbacks. The silence you hear is Green Bay’s selective outrage.
*Dom “Night School” Capers’ porous defense is at each other’s throats. But at least they’re making contact.
*The offensive line, perhaps distracted by Rebel Wilson confirming that she’ll be in Pitch Perfect 3, allowed their undersized quarterback to get harassed all day, culminating in Rodgers throwing back-breaking pick that snuffed out any glimmer of hope that Green Bay had.
The problem with the extended stretch of competence that this franchise has had since former Vikings great Brett Favre keyed their renaissance in the early Nineties is that they’ve forgotten how to handle misfortune. You would think, having very recently lost an NFC Championship Game they led by 12 with possession of the ball and five minutes left, they’d be acquainted with loss. But I guess when you spend your off-season getting cameos instead of getting better, dealing with adversity is going to go by the wayside.
That brings us to this week. The Packers return to Daunte’s House to face the also-imploding Detroit Lions. A Green Bay victory is very likely, and with the division co-leading Vikings facing a tough road game against the improved Oakland Raiders, they could very easily return to sole possession of first place in the NFC North. But one has to ask the obvious question: In the long run, wouldn’t a loss be better?
Despite this franchise’s tainted gambling history, no one expects the Pack to throw this game. But given that the aging core of this team has an ever-diminishing chance to return to Super Bowl glory, it behooves Mike McCarthy and Ted Thompson to see what their younger players can do. If that results in a loss to the lowly Lions (and a better draft position in 2016), so be it.
Then again, foresight, much like responsible consumption on game day, has never been a strong suit for this franchise. A win on Sunday may just make things worse.
And in an increasingly lost season, they’re already bad.