Ain't no way you start a show with your son in a discount Twins jersey as hypeman/rapper. Ain't no way you have your valet in shorts walk onstage and put your mink stole and striped purse on the grand piano before you arrive. Ain't no way you make your entrance in a sparkly white wedding dress, with feathered bottom and chiffon shawl.
When you're the Queen of Soul, you dictate the rules. And Aretha Franklin ruled Friday at the Minnesota State Fair grandstand.
She strutted and danced, pranced and paraded. Her voice swooped and soared, scatted and caressed. Many times during her 100-minute set, she reminded 9,647 grandstand-goers why she is the greatest singer in the history of modern popular music — and also one of the more confounding.
"I'm feelin' alright, yes I am, feelin' alright," the 72-year-old Detroiter screamed after hitting a piercing closing note on "Sweet Sixteen," her fifth tune of the night and her lone blues.
Indeed, she had been pretty spectacular from the get-go, nailing the high notes on Jackie Wilson's opening "Higher and Higher," testifying on "Until You Come Back to Me," cooing during "Angel" and getting sassy on "Think."
And when she got to "Chain of Fools," she delivered that you-don't-mess-with-Ree attitude, strutting like she was 25 years old again. You go, girl!
Except she did. In a different sense of the phrase. She left the stage. For 12 minutes as her band played on. It was mostly instrumentals until they eased into Pharrell Williams' ubiquitous hit "Happy," and Aretha waltzed back onstage in her white wedding dress and sang a few lines of the song.
The rest of the evening turned into a bit of a mess. Aretha told a tired joke about a dog, she delivered "Old Landmark," a gospel number, with pre-recorded backup singers doing call and response with her. The one apparent backup singer onstage didn't even have a microphone; she merely played tambourine.