Hotel for Dogs
★★ out of four stars
Rating: PG for brief mild thematic elements, language and some crude humor.
If you can excuse the repetitive doggy-doo-doo gags and awkward teen romances, you might find some meaningful lessons about opportunism in the face of abandonment in "Hotel for Dogs," the vacant, Nickelodeon-produced adaptation of the 1971 Lois Duncan novel of the same name. Otherwise, you'd probably be just as entertained chasing your own tail.
Andi (Emma Roberts, niece of Julia) and Bruce (Jake T. Austin) are orphaned siblings who turn an abandoned hotel into a day spa for stray dogs, many of which they bust out of a Gitmo-inspired animal shelter. Canine enthusiasts and those under age 10 will lap up the sight of dozens of dogs making adorable faces and "acting" in unison, but even they will have to suffer through a bland plot and dreadful acting (save for Don Cheadle's welcome appearances). True to life, this dog of a movie is only fun when it's behaving itself. (Daniel Getahun)
'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'
★ 1/2 out of four stars
Rating: PG for some violence, mild crude and suggestive humor, and language.
Ten steps to making a senseless Hollywood comedy: 1) Write a formulaic, carbon paper-thin screenplay and give it an even emptier title, like "Paul Blart: Mall Cop." 2) Carefully time the humor: one joke every six minutes. 3) Hire Steve Carr ("Are We Done Yet?") to direct the movie. 4) Cast a popular TV star (Kevin James, "The King of Queens") to play a lovable loser-turned-hero -- in this case, a mall security guard who takes his job so seriously that he creates his own oath of service, upon which he calls when hooligans lay siege to the mall. 5) Also cast an impossibly cute blonde as his one-dimensional love interest and a terrific character actor (Bobby Cannavale) desperately seeking a quick paycheck. 6) Secure key scenes of star crashing a Segway into things. 7) Ensure that a romantic ending is foreshadowed before the 10-minute mark. 8) For more slapstick, continue filming Segway gags right into the ground -- hard. 9) Release film at suburban malls, give moviegoers glimmer of hope that capable stars will find better opportunities in the future. 10) Following brief theater run, package for in-flight entertainment and DVD bargain bins. (Daniel Getahun)
'Chandni Chowk to China'
★ out of four stars
Not rated but appropriate for any age.
