I was watching the Twins and the Dodgers drag into the night in the second game of a split doubleheader. The utter dreariness of the entertainment was transfixing — like watching a Todd Solondz movie.

The next day, it was announced that Aaron Hicks was going on the seven-day concussion DL, and because of the bullpen crisis, the Twins would have 14 pitchers. I made this decision: Fourteen pitchers, 56 percent of the roster … that’s it, I’m done with baseball.

And needing something to fill the void, I made another decision ... and became a fake hard-core fan of an English Premier soccer team.

On Saturday, my weekend radio partner Judd Zulgad and I decided on the side that will carry my hopes and dreams as a fan in the future: Swansea City.

It is located on the sea in Wales, and the wee Welshman, Ian Woosnam, was one of my favorite golfers to interview because he started every comment with a unique, “ah, ooh’’ combo.

Second, Swansea has a formal nickname of Swans, but my side is also called the Jacks, in honor of a lifesaving black retriever.

Patrick Plus: startribune.com/sports