I tell ya, son, that girl's a bad, bad influence:

Like, say, cocaine. Just to recap:

And she spent no time in jail; she was tweeting from a balcony in Hawaii within 10 hours. This guy's going to do four years in the big house? Granted, he was driving, and whatever you think of drug laws, he shouldn't have been driving. But it just seems absurd that the purty famous bubblenogging gets to skip out with probation for blow, and poor old boyfriend has to face hard time for weed.Of course, that's where lawyers come in.

Unless you smell like you bathed in Remy and reefer, and then the cops will see if you can stand on one leg for 2 seconds without doing a faceplant.