You’ve heard the saying, “opposites attract.” Well, when it comes to couples and money, too often “opposites attack.”
Here are different money styles I have seen through the years, and some steps we can take to avoid an all-out war.
One client is conservative with money, and the other is a risk-taker. The risk-taker might consider themselves brave and their partner scared. The problem is, there is generally more at stake for the scared client. While the risk-taker is sacrificing opportunity cost, the scared client feels the other is jeopardizing their security.
In order for this to work, the risk-taker needs to move closer to the conservative client. Just acting brave dismisses the scared client’s concerns and often leads to that client becoming more conservative, feeling they have to be careful enough for the two of them.
If the brave client really listens to the scared client, they can usually work things out. For example, maybe the scared client keeps an individual savings account. There needs to be a safety net created for the scared client in order to move forward together.
In another situation: One client is a saver and the other a spender. Being too much of a spendthrift and being too frugal are surprisingly similar: Money has too much power over each of them. They are either holding tightly to what they have or disregarding their situation.
Go to the basics:
- Draw up a balance sheet showing exactly what you owe and what you own.
- For three months, write down everything you are spending money on.
- Set up a meeting for the two of you to go through just the facts of the situation, and come to an agreement on whether you are where you want to be.
If one of you discounts the future, and the other emphasizes it, compromise is not the answer; it’s collaboration. Create a shared vision that includes living for today and saving for tomorrow.
