I'm going to try not to sound prematurely old here. (Don't worry, I won't end any wordz in 'z' or anything like dat.)

If all goes reasonably well, the Twinz Twins should clinch the division next week. It will be a fun moment, all the more if they can manage to do it in front of the home fans at Target Field.

During Wednesday's game, the TV crew showed video of the clubhouse celebration after the Twins clinched the division in 2002. Dick'n'Bert went out of their way to point out that the celebration was a bit more raucous because it came in the aftermath of the contraction talk of that era. Of course, it was also the first division title since 1991, which added that much more to the excitement.

You could even forgive the Matthew Lecroy/David Ortiz cover of Ludacris' "Move" after the Twins beat Oakland in the first round of the playoffs.

Last year, when the Twins won their fifth division title of the decade with their stirring Game 163 victory, the team seemed intent of celebrating as lustily as their fans. That would have been fine, save for the fact that the players were expected on the field at Yankee Stadium less than 24 hours later -- after they pretty much celebrated their way into a 1-0 hole in the series.

It's a bit curmudgeonly to say something like, "Gardy, shoulda taken control of dat house that situation and served only O'Doul's and Domino's."

I'll settle for asking for more restraint this time.

When this year's division clinch happens, I hope the crowd celebrates and traffic is brought to a halt for a few happy minutes on the streets surrounding the ballpark -- maybe a dress rehearsal for next month. I hope the Twins take a lap around the perimeter, throw some baseballs and caps and batting gloves into the stands... and then talk about business ahead.

The Pohlads could spring for some fancy crystal toasting flutes -- Waterford Happy Celebrations flutes are on sale right now -- and expensive champagne to set the tone. You know, tablecloths on the clubhouse tables instead of plastic sheets over the lockers. Get Chef Pastor from Delaware North to whip up the Mashed Potato Bar and the herb crusted top round from the catering menu. Invite the families.

Have a toast and a meal, let the owners say a few words, have Michael Cuddyer do a magic trick. (Maybe he can saw Johan Santana in half again.)

Then get on with it.