TORONTO - This might be irresponsible, but something must be done. I have to recommend that the Minnesota Twins begin taking a performance-enhancing drug.
This one will not require them to receive injections in the gluteus maximus. This one will not land them in front of a jury of their peers, or cause acne, tape-measure home runs or the donning of a yellow jersey.
The Twins don't need steroids, just a little Xanax, before their first road trip of the season turns into a forced march to the bottom of the AL Central.
"We've just got to kind of relax out there," manager Ron Gardenhire said. "It looks like we're running around a little bit too much, trying to do too much in the field and everywhere else."
The Twins lost 13-3 to Toronto on Friday. It was their most lopsided Opening Day loss, ever. Saturday, the Twins managed one hit against rookie Kyle Drabek, losing 6-1 at Rogers Centre.
Starting the season 0-2 is no reason to panic, although it seems the Twins considered starting the season a reason to panic.
"We've got guys all over the place," Gardenhire said. "We've got to try to relax and try to play a better brand of baseball. It's not been a lot of fun to watch."
Gardenhire sounded nervous on a conference call Thursday, then before the game Friday.