I was trying to convince someone what a great thing something was going to be. I was charming and unconvincing. He was the same. So neither of us were making progress. It didn't change my opinion, but it influenced my conviction. Ultimately, it led to a better outcome.

In "The Undoing Project," Michael Lewis quotes Nobel economist Daniel Kahneman: "When someone says something, don't ask yourself if it is true. Ask what it might be true of." That concept changes everything. We no longer stay entrenched, but become open to someone else's wisdom.

This is an important aspect of financial planning. Whether you are giving financial advice or receiving it, remembering that the best ideas are merely more good than bad rather than absolutely right or wrong can change everything.

We have a client who is going through a rough period and we believe is overspending. But that is based on models that we run using 5,000 iterations, money lasting until age 95 and spending staying constant. Those conservative assumptions are important because almost everyone is worried about running out of money. But a model is not a map. Life changes. Is there a chance that this client should feel better spending a little more than the models allow as she works her way through this difficult stage? What is not true is that the client is going to run out of money, because we don't know for sure. What is true of overspending is that it could lead to going broke. True and true of are different degrees of the same issue.

I was talking with another client who was intrigued by a provision in their estate plan that the trusts they set up will match only whatever the children earn. Their truth is that money without work will make the children lazy. That may be true of some trust-fund kids, but it is certainly not true of many that I know. This provision may also encourage the kids to be investment bankers rather than social workers, emphasizing personal profit over not-for-profits. Is that the message they hope to send? Generally, the estate plan cannot create values that either the parents didn't instill or the children didn't absorb.

Experts often have difficulties in discerning what things are true of rather than simply true. But experts equivocating is not necessarily a sign of weakness; it may simply be that we exist in a complex system where certainty can be elusive.

The truth is that most statements deserve an understanding of what this could be true of.

Spend your life wisely.

Ross Levin is the chief executive & founder of Accredited Investors Wealth Management in Edina.