The police blotter has been on intermittent hiatus, if such a thing makes sense. These are the only gleanings that stand out. Shall we?

"THEFT. A woman called police to report that $55 cash was missing from her room at the Super 8 Motel, 9410 NE., Baltimore St. The woman had invited six men she had just met to her room and the swimming area. She had been drinking and did not know where the money was but suspected one of the men took it. All of the men were questioned and denied taking any money." There's a lesson here, but I don't know what it is. -- Dangerous if she was driving a Segway at 100 MPH, maybe: "Disorderly conduct. An officer noticed someone had tied plastic wrap across the road off of the 100 block of NW. Bittersweet St. The officer spoke to two girls, ages 15 and 16, who were standing there. The 16-year-old admitted to putting the plastic wrap there because a friend was going to be driving by and she thought it would be funny. The officer advised the girl about how dangerous that could have been and spoke with her father about the situation." -- When cigarettes are almost outlawed by taxes and restrictions, only outlaws will - oh, you know the rest. "Burglary. Police responded to an alarm call at a business on the 12400 block of Riverdale Drive NW. Someone had broken into the tobacco shop and stolen 324 cartons of cigarettes. Video surveillance showed two suspects wearing masks and gloves." -- First of all, ma'am, I think that's potted meat product. "Harassment. A woman flagged down a police officer on the 5600 block of NE. 4th St. She said her roommate had left a can of human feces and a harassing note in the bathroom because he was upset over her not getting out of the bathroom. An officer provided suggestions on how to deal with the civil dispute." -- Sure, officers, I suspected intruders, but concluded I'd left a radio playing in the next room, and it was tuned to a show about two guys who whispered "she's home, let's get out of here" then somehow turned off the radio from inside the show. "Burglary. A caller in the 1100 block of Town Centre Drive reported that when she arrived home she thought she heard people in her home. She did not call police at the time, but later realized that items were missing and found a broken window in a back bedroom." And that's it. Pathetic, I know. Let's hope for more, soon - it's been weeks since we've had a good case of someone stuffing a 30-pound turkey down his pants.