This started as a weird little back-and-forth on Twitter between us and RandBallsStu. It ended as a full-blown parody. We stole a couple lines from Stu's tweets, but otherwise the inspiration is all ours (and the Twins). Here is Pavement's "Cut Your Hair" re-imagined as a song about the Twins' offense. This is from the CD "Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain," which is much better thought of as "Crooked Numbers, Crooked Numbers?" Also, the original song and video are at the top for inspiration. Here we go:
Darlin’ go ahead and cut your roster
Do you think it’s gonna make things change?
You’re just a team with the same lineup,
And that’s a pretty bad lineup.
Scoring is a puzzle, offense getting muzzled, batter missed a sign
Look on deck, pinch hit, it’s 3-1 in the sixth
The bullpen phone is found.
Baseball scene's crazy, guys sent down each and every day
I saw another one just the other day
A special new call-up
I remember scoring
I don't remember why
I don't remember where
But I don't care, I care, I really don't care
Did you see the second baseman’s hair?
High OBPs and some pop a must.
Runs mean a lot
When runs are bought
Or so, I’ve heard
Rob, run down to the office phone
Deal some pitching for some bats.
Correia, Correia, Correia, Correia, Correia, Correia!