Michael Oher (pronounced "oar") knows that what he calls "the happy ending" he found in life would have seemed unlikely when he was a young boy growing up in the projects of Memphis without the love and support of parents to guide him. His father absent, his mother a drug addict, Oher and his many siblings moved from place to place, with and without her, often forced to fend for themselves.
The happy ending to Oher's story was well documented in "The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game," written by Michael Lewis, and then in the 2009 Academy Award-nominated movie "The Blind Side," which featured Sandra Bullock as Oher's adoptive mother, Leigh Anne Tuohy.
The Tuohys (including father Sean, daughter Collins and son S.J.) brought Oher into their family and as the result of their loving support, Oher's hard work in school and his abilities as a football player, he went on to play college football for the University of Mississippi. He is now an offensive tackle for the Baltimore Ravens.
Oher also told his story in "I Beat the Odds: From Homelessness to 'The Blind Side' and Beyond" (Gotham Books), written with Don Yaeger. The paperback version has just been released and Oher will be doing a book signing today at 1 p.m. at the Mall of America in Bloomington.
In a phone interview, we asked Oher, now 25, about the determination that motivated him throughout his remarkable life and the message he has for adults and young people about how that kind of determination, along with passion and support, can turn someone's life around.
Q In the introduction to the paperback, you write about the impact your story has had on so many people. Has this surprised you?
A I am surprised and sort of not surprised. I understand there are many young people who are where I was and who need a helping hand. I think when people started to read my book, they saw there is a way out. For me, it was through sports, but it might not be that for everyone. There are also lots of people out there who want other people to do well in life. They want to help.
Q What are one or two of the key messages you share with adults about ways they can make a difference in the life of a child living in difficult circumstances?
A Everyone knows someone struggling in some kind of way. You are a role model to so many people, even if you don't realize it. Take someone under your wing. Show them the right way to do things.
Q When you talk to young people, what is the main piece of advice you give them? What would you like them to learn from your experience?
A I tell them what my life was like before "The Blind Side." I know their struggles, so I tell them they have to be motivated to make a change in their own lives. I know I didn't want to get caught up in the cycle of drugs and violence that was around me. Deep down inside, I felt there was something better outside the situation I was in.
You have to have passion and determination to make it happen. Do what's best for you and do it to the best of your ability -- go after your goals like nobody's business.
Q Despite the many difficulties you faced growing up in Hurt Village (an impoverished part of Memphis where Oher lived as a youngster), you always seemed to accept your circumstances and never had a "life's not fair" mentality. Is that true?
A I guess I didn't feel like life wasn't fair to me at the time. Sometimes I say I miss those days -- playing football in the field all night long or playing basketball for hours without a care in the world -- but I don't want to say I miss those days because I know how rough they were. I just tried to stay positive and kept wanting to be successful.
At that time, my role models were Michael Jordan and players from the Dallas Cowboys. I wanted to be where they were and I knew I had to be tough mentally and work hard to get there.
Q You have experienced many kinds of families -- your biological family, your football teams throughout the years, and of course, the Tuohys. What does "family" mean to you?
A Family is very important. Me and my brothers were very close when I was growing up. We did a lot of things together to survive. If you have family behind you, the sky's the limit. They have your back. It's good to know that someone loves you and wants you to be the best you can be.
Julie Pfitzinger is a West St. Paul freelance writer.
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