'HOUSE' TALK

In honor of "House's" 100th episode this month, we offer some of our favorite barbs that have flown out of the cranky doctor's mouth:

"She has gone from the 25th weight percentile to the 3rd in one month. I'm not a baby expert, but I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to shrink."

"Like I always say, There's no 'I' in team. There's a 'me,' though, if you jumble it up."

"What makes a guy start drool-ing? Chase, were you wearing your short shorts?"

"I had a heart attack this morning. I can't do any more drugs 'til at least lunch."

"If you want fair, you picked the wrong job, and the wrong pro-fession. And the wrong species. Treat this patient like he's just another really, really ugly kid."

"Anyone can hate humanity after being shot. It takes a big man to hate them beforehand."

"Our job is to find what's killing patients, not treat them for chronic idiocy."

"I'm a jerk to everyone. Best way to protect yourself against lawsuits."

"People interest me. Conversations don't."

"I thought I'd get your theories, mock them, then embrace my own. The usual."