CRAIG'S LIST
Leaving Lambeau Field Thursday night and knowing the Vikings would have four days off, a joke was made.
"You know," said someone familiar with Love Boats and Whizzinators. "We should just ask for a statement now to save time."
Call it gallows humor. Then, unfortunately, three days later, after defensive tackle Tom Johnson was arrested, the Vikings issued a statement that some have come to know as well as The Serenity Prayer.
"We are continuing to gather information and will have further comment at the appropriate time."
Amen.
This isn't meant to pick on the Vikings. These statements are prevalent throughout big-time athletics. They're part of the scenery, the disappointing game between the games.
But we all march on. Here are some predictions and possible statements for Week 6:
DET -1½ at MIN
Vikings by 3
"The Vikings are aware that, for some strange reason, the only person we don't offend is Aaron Rodgers."
DEN -8½ at NYJ
Broncos by 10
"The Jets are aware that Rex Ryan is up a dirty creek with no means of locomotion."
PIT +1½ at CLE
Steelers by 3
"The Browns are fully aware that Johnny Manziel was aware that college life was really cool."
JAX +6½ at TEN
Titans by 3
"The NFL is aware that even the NFL can't spin this one."
CHI +3½ at ATL
Falcons by 7
"Jay Cutler is aware that Mike Tice might try to talk to him and has retained the proper cold shoulder to deal with it."
CAR +7½ at CIN
Bengals by 1
"The Bengals now agree with the New England media that it's time to trade Tom Brady. Preferably to the NFC."
NE -3½ at BUF
Patriots by 6
"Bill Belichick and Tom Brady would like to say, 'Perhaps you've heard of us? We're kind of a big deal.'"
BAL -3½ at TB
Ravens by 7
"The Bucs deny that Drew Brees scored on them two more times on Wednesday."
SD -6½ at OAK
Chargers by 7
"The Raiders buried a football to signify a new beginning, but vehemently deny trying to bury Mark Davis next to it."
DAL +7½ at SEA
Seahawks by 3
"The Seahawks acknowledge that multiple penalties have forced Percy Harvin to return to his freshman year at Florida."
WAS +3½ at ARZ
Cardinals by 6
"The Redskins admit to having never watched film of that slippery little Russell Wilson fella."
NYG +2½ at PHI
Eagles by 3
"The Eagles admit that Chip Kelly thinks defense is a French word for bathroom break."
SF -3½ at STL
49ers by 7
"The 49ers would like to remind the vultures that we're rubber and you're glue and anything Deion says is a pile of poo."
UPSET SPECIAL
GB -3½ at MIA
Dolphins by 3
"Joe Philbin regrets not naming 'What's His Face' or 'He's no Aaron' as the starting quarterback."
Record
Last week/overall: 10-4/ 41-30
Vs. spread: 7-7/ 30-41
Vikings picks: 3-2
Upset special picks: 1-4