CRAIG'S LIST

So you're Christmas shopping and time is running out and you just don't know what to get that special NFL player who has everything.

They don't actually make "Get Out of Jail Free" cards, except in Monopoly, but nice try.

Hmm. Let's see.

If you're stumped, just give money. That should make at least one little Johnny very happy come Christmas morn.

Here are some other suggestions heading into Week 16:

SD +1 at SF

Chargers by 7

For Jim Harbaugh: A one-way ticket to Ann Arbor. For Ray McDonald: An orange jumpsuit.

PHI -7½ at WAS

Eagles by 10

For Daniel Snyder: An NFL team.

GB -10½ at TB

Packers by 14

For the Bucs: Tailbone pads for being the first team to face Aaron Rodgers after the Bills game.

DET -7 at CHI

Bears by 3

For Marc Trestman: A one-way ticket back to Canada, where they don't pay their quarterbacks $1 million per turnover.

ATL +6 at NO

Saints by 7

For the NFC South: Coal.

NE -10 at NYJ

Patriots by 17

For Bill Belichick: Garage sale tips from Bud Grant because these AFC East trophies are piling up.

KC +3 at PIT

Steelers by 7

For everyone old enough to remember watching Walter Payton: No more comparisons between Le'Veon Bell and Walter Payton.

CLE +2½ at CAR

Panthers by 3

For LeBron James: A new little buddy with no signature celebration.

BAL -5½ at HOU

Ravens by 3

For J.J. Watt: 6½ Brett Favres for his pursuit of Michael Strahan's sack record.

NYG +5 at STL

Giants by 3

For Tom Coughlin: Critics who remember that he won two Super Bowls with Eli Manning as his quarterback.

BUF -5½ at OAK

Raiders by 3

For the Bills: Something soft to land on for the inevitable NFL fall that follows the week after beating really good teams.

IND +3 at DAL

Cowboys by 10

For the Colts: Nothing. Six AFC South games are more than enough.

SEA -8 at ARI

Seahawks by 10

For the Cardinals: Nine more quarterbacks to get through the next eight quarters.

DEN -3 at CIN

Bengals by 3

For Peyton Manning: NFC home-field advantage for any team not located in Seattle.

UPSET SPECIAL

MIN +6½ at MIA

Vikings 27, Dolphins 24

For Mike Zimmer: Hope for Teddy Bridgewater's continued growth and prayers that Mrs. Turner doesn't mind her and Norv wintering in Minneapolis.

Record

Last week/overall: 9-6/ 124-81-1

Versus spread: 7-8/ 104-102

Vikings picks: 11-3

Upset special picks: 5-10