Finally, after 22 years with nothing else to do, the people of Los Angeles have something to break up all that SoCal monotony tonight. They’re back in the NFL draft!

A lot has changed since 1994, L.A.

The NFL still plays games. But only for draft positioning.

People still do mock drafts. But mockaholism now prevents them from stopping at one or two or three or four or five or …

And there are now 32 teams, although only 31 first-round picks. Thanks to “Deflategate,” the Patriots won’t make the 29th overall pick on their way to 12 wins and the running of circles around the AFC East.

With only one shot to get this wr … right, let’s roll:


1. Rams (From Tennessee)

Top need: Quarterback

The pick: Jared Goff, QB, California

Carson Wentz is strong, but Fargo’s finest will finish second to the Cal kid in the Stan Kroenke Wallet Lift.


2. Eagles (From Cleveland)

Top need: Cornerback

The pick: Carson Wentz, QB, North Dakota State

Since Cleveland traded out of this pick, Carson Wentz just became future Hall of Famer Carson Wentz.


3. Chargers

Top need: Defensive end

The pick: Joey Bosa, DE, Ohio State

No pressure, San Diego. He’s either the next J.J. Watt or the next Mike Mamula.


4. Cowboys

Top need: Pass rusher

The pick: Myles Jack, OLB, UCLA

Having Tony Romo break his collarbone every other game reminds the Cowboys that it’s a pass rusher’s league.


5. Jaguars

Top need: Better luck

The pick: DeForest Buckner, DE, Oregon

Football gods-willing, he’ll team with DE Dante Fowler, the 2015 No. 3 pick who tore an ACL at a May minicamp.


6. Ravens

Top need: Super duper deer antler spray for Ray Lewis

The pick: Laremy Tunsil, OT, Ole Miss

Not enough value at ILB, so Ozzie Newsome settles for the guy who was projected No. 1 before the Rams trade.


7. 49ers

Top need: Quarterback

The pick: Ronnie Stanley, OT, Notre Dame

No quarterback, but a big blocker who might be able to help a QB stay alive in Chip Kelly’s scheme.


8. Browns (From Miami via Philadelphia)

Top need: Owner

The pick: Paxton Lynch, QB, Memphis

You know what they say. If at first you don’t succeed, try 25 more times over 16 years to find a quarterback.


9. Buccaneers

Top need: Cornerback

The pick: Jalen Ramsey, DB, Florida State

Look who just fell to Tampa Bay. (Please hold all what-an-idiot comments until the idiot has finished).


10. Giants

Top need: Offensive tackle

The pick: Jack Conklin, OT, Michigan State

Archie Manning needs this pick. The grandkids need grooming and he’s down to his last son.


11. Bears

Top need: Pass rusher

The pick: Leonard Floyd, OLB, Georgia

Chicago’s defense needs a few little things called speed, explosion and talent.


12. Saints

Top need: Defensive line

The pick: Sheldon Rankins, DT, Louisville

High-value wide load joins the league’s worst scoring defense.


13. Dolphins (From Philadelphia)

Top need: Running back

The pick: Ezekiel Elliott, RB, Ohio State

Receivers? Who needs ’em. First running back comes off the board.


14. Raiders

Top need: Free safety

The pick: Vernon Hargreaves III, CB, Florida

Not the most physical guy, but he’s the best player on the board. If he’s actually still here.


15. Titans (From Rams)

Top need: Offensive tackle

The pick: Taylor Decker, OT, Ohio State

Marcus Mariota needs more protection and power on the right side.


16. Lions

Top need: Calvin Johnson to unretire

The pick: Laquon Treadwell, WR, Ole Miss

Detroit needs an offensive tackle and a defensive end, but they’re so used to having a big receiver.


17. Falcons

Top need: Pass rusher

The pick: Darron Lee, LB, Ohio State

Dan Quinn runs his old Seattle scheme, but it’s a whole lot better with a pass-rushing playmaker at linebacker.


18. Colts

Top need: Andrew Luck safe and sound

The pick: Germain Ifedi, OT, Texas A&M

Taking a stab at identifying one of the many so-called reaches that always wreck mock drafts.


19. Bills

Top need: Linebacker

The pick: A’Shawn Robinson, DT, Alabama

A giant run-stuffer will make Marcell Dareus even more of an interior pass rushing force.


20. Jets

Top need: Outside linebacker

The pick: Shaq Lawson, DE, Clemson

Will he fall this far? We’ll let you know Thursday night.


21. Redskins

Top need: Defensive tackle

The pick: Robert Nikemdiche, DT, Ole Miss

Will he rise this far? We’ll let you know about 15 later.


22. Texans

Top need: Receiver

The pick: Josh Doctson, WR, TCU

Brock Osweiler just got a little better as Houston’s new quarterback.


23. Vikings

Top need: Receiver

The pick: Will Fuller, WR, Notre Dame

The NFL combine’s fastest receiver (4.34-second 40). A smart, crisp route-runner. A Golden Domer. What’s not to like for GM Rick Spielman. Other than trading down and still getting Fuller?


24. Bengals

Top need: Receiver

The pick: Michael Thomas, WR, Ohio State

Somewhere, Paul Brown will be smiling as another Buckeye comes aboard.


25. Steelers

Top need: Cornerback

The pick: William Jackson III, CB, Houston

A 6-foot corner with long arms and 4.37 speed. The Steelers finally might have themselves a corner.


26. Seahawks

Top need: Nose tackle

The pick: Andrew Billings, NT, Baylor

Powerful inside force bolsters a weak spot in a strong defense.


27. Packers

Top need: Inside linebacker

The pick: Reggie Ragland, ILB, Alabama

The Packers move Clay Matthews back to OLB and replace him inside with the SEC Defensive Player of the Year.


28. Chiefs

Top need: Cornerback

The pick: Eli Apple, CB, Ohio State

Kansas City has little depth at corner behind Marcus Peters, the reigning NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year.


(Forfeited pick: Patriots. Top need: To stop doing things that end in “gate.”)


29. Cardinals

Top need: Center

The pick: Ryan Kelly, C, Alabama

It’s getting late. Good fit, yada, yada, yada.


30. Panthers

Top need: Did you see their OTs in the Super Bowl?

The pick: Kevin Dodd, DE, Clemson

Seemingly out of first-round options at OT, Carolina opts to try and wipe the big smile off the other team’s QB.


31. Broncos

Top need: Quarterback

The pick: Connor Cook, QB, Michigan State

Desperate times (Sanchez, Mark) call for grabbing the next QB before Dallas (34) or San Francisco (37) do.