Making the mom connection

When Jordana Pickering gave birth to daughter Lillian, now 5 years old, none of her friends had children and she found herself feeling isolated and longing to connect face-to-face with other new mothers. So she turned to the Internet."I had absolutely no idea where to find a moms' group, so I started one," said Pickering, who lives in Eagan and also has a 1-year-old son, Bennett.

Pickering launched South Metro Moms & Tots as an offshoot of Meetup.com, which provides an opportunity for people to initially connect online and find others with common interests who want to gather socially.

About 30 to 50 moms actively participate in South Metro Moms & Tots, although nearly 175 are registered. Pickering gets five to 10 requests per week from prospective members. The group doesn't have a strict structure. Volunteer organizers simply post play-date and field-trip information on the group's private Facebook page; moms and kids attend morning, afternoon or evening events as they can.

"We try to plan activities that meet a variety of schedules, because we have stay-at-home members as well as moms who work full- and part-time," she said. "We want to connect our kids, but we want to connect as adults, too."

All in the relationships

That's the type of interaction that Dawn Beavers of Woodbury was looking for when she, her husband and 2-year-old daughter, Caroline, moved to the Twin Cities from Ohio a couple years ago. New to the state and knowing no one, she also turned to the Internet to find a social outlet for herself and daughter.

Now president of Woodbury MOMS Club North, a group with more then 30 members who live north of Valley Creek Road, Beavers said the full schedule of opportunities has been a boon to her life as a mom, with daily play-date opportunities at local parks, members' homes and other family-friendly sites.

However, once kids enter school or start becoming involved in sports and other activities -- or when their older siblings do -- moms' groups often begin losing members, said Margaret Thomas, community relations coordinator for the Twin Cities East Chapter of Mothers & More.

"When kids' lives get busier, that makes a difference in the family dynamic and really hampers the ability for moms to participate in play-group events. You've become a parent on the go," said Thomas. "The predictability of your schedule is gone, and I do think as members fall away, it can impact the health of the group."

While play groups and other family activities are part of Twin Cities East Mothers & More, which also has an active membership numbering about 30, the twice-monthly evening meetings just for moms are an essential component. Mothers & More will often schedule presentations on topics of interest, such as a recent panel discussion with members who have gone back to full- or part-time jobs.

"Many more of our members are working now than when I first became involved nine years ago. Families need those paychecks," said Thomas, who lives in Stillwater with 7-year-old daughter Maeve and 4-year-old son Orion.

As with the other two moms' groups, potential members of Mothers & More tend to first discover the group online, but Thomas said that even though most parenting questions can be answered via websites and online parenting forums, there's no substitute for real-life connections.

Julie Pfitzinger is a West St. Paul freelance writer.