Dear potent locally-based bulls-eye themed retailer: Please don't take this the wrong way. I love you, and I hate when we fight. Remember when you moved the Windex to a totally different aisle, away from what had been cleaning supplies, and I was like What the Heck, and you were all like Just Deal With It? We laugh about it now, because it's funny, I guess, and love is like that.
But love is also about honesty. Look, I know, you have your schedules. You do things your way, and that's one of the kicky, quirky things I adore. The way you put out swimsuits in February, as if it's not 12 above outside and we're stamping off snow when we come in -- that's so you. I know we joked about how you put out the school supplies after the Fourth, as if you're bored with summer and the stinky lawn chemicals. But has something changed? Maybe it's me. I have to be honest:
When my daughter saw the back-to-school display two days before the Fourth of July the blood left her face. She looked like she'd woken up to discover she'd slept through her birthday party.
Could you maybe come up with July stuff that speaks of the precious NOW, the sliver of green we're given between the time of endless rule of dead cold white and the short gorgeous ache of golden fall? Anything would be fine. We have two months of summer left -- and some of us know that Back to School will be replaced by tombstones and skeletons before the first leaf turns. How about pushing summer merchandise deep into August? Some people might need a sleeping bag or a garden hose more than they need a protractor. Because right now those bins of glue and Jonas Brothers notebooks make everyone gnash their teeth and say WHAT. IS. THE. MATTER. WITH. YOU. I'm just saying!
Love,
Us
jlileks@startribune.com • 612-673-7858. More daily at www.startribune.com/buzz
