Lindsay Lohan is now a fugitive from justice in exciting, glamorous Europe! She was supposed to be back in the US for a court hearing to explain why she couldn't complete her court-mandated alcohol-education lessons - and no, that doesn't mean "don't mix gin and beer," but "don't drink and drive your car into the highway, stop it, get out and run around yelling you can do what you want because you're a celebrity." Perhaps Coke-and-Red-Bull-education lessons might be apt, but California doesn't offer those. Budget cutbacks. Anyway, she would have come back to the US to complete her legal obligations, but the Icelandic ash cloud and the Greek debt crisis ate her passport:

Standard procedure for mortals, yes. But she'll probably do some time, because Hollywood types can only push the System so far before judges decide that normal rules must apply to all, even people who have substantial entries on imdb. Harsh, but this is a nation of equals.

UPDATE: the judge has issued an arrest warrant. Interpol, it's over to you.