Richfield has decided to ban recreational marijuana shops. You may ask if they’ve also prohibited unicorn grooming and brothels with on-site blackjack, to name two other things that are not likely to apply for a business license. They’re just getting ahead of the culture, it seems — once people get used to medical marijuana, which can treat a variety of ailments from glaucoma to chronic sobriety, there’s a push for legal weed for all, because what the heck.

It’s the city’s choice, of course, and other cities will no doubt follow suit and post signs on the border that have a red-circle-and-slash sign over a picture of Bob Marley. But maybe some cities will open municipally owned stores, just as they do with alcohol. I’ve always found it odd that cities run People’s Intoxicant Distribution Centers in the first place, but you can imagine a city-run store deciding it would be a good revenue stream.

They could mail out glossy brochures with manager’s suggestions: New this week, Yucatán Stun-smoke! Rich, smoky top notes combine with a smooth finish to offer a relaxing blend of … I forgot where this was going. Oh right sorry. Pairs well with: Cool Ranch Doritos

Anyway. Richfield also has rules about where the legal dispensaries will be located. They have to be 1000 feet from a school, for example. Perhaps the rule should be “several blocks, and around a corner,” because otherwise the message would seem to be “don’t do drugs! Also, here are the drugs.” Makes you wonder why they just can’t sell the stuff at the pharmacy like the rest of the medicinal substances. No one sets up special stores for antibiotics.

Speaking of which: If someone opened Total Cold Medicine You Could Make Meth From But Probably Won’t Because You’re Sick, and you didn’t have to take a card to the cashier and swear you weren’t using pseudoephedrine recreationally, that would be great.