There's an intersection I frequent where traffic moves through like a turtle swimming in congealed lard, so I take this little dogleg street. It used to have a laundry whose sign had two clocks — one with the current time, one showing when your shirts would be ready if you dropped them off now. Handy! You could rip off your shirt as you drove past, wrap it around a rock and throw it through the window without stopping to hear when it would be done.
We have so few imaginative signs these days. Old pictures of downtown show buildings bristling with neon, signs hanging perpendicular to the street, glowing in the twilight. A trip to Seven Corners meant viewing the great Hagen Appliances Cowboy, lasso blinking as he rounded up Values.
Good signs are landmarks, things that set a place apart. But I couldn't help thinking "nice as that helpful laundry clock looks, I wish they'd tear it down and put up a parking ramp."
Well, imagine my delight upon reading that's exactly what the city of Edina wants to do. Small hitch: The owners of the Hooten Cleaners building didn't want to sell. I mean, the gall. So the City Council did the only thing it could and voted 3-2 to force them to sell it, because yeah, yeah, it's a free country, whatever, but come on.
When the city comes around and says, "Alas, you stand athwart the march of progress — well, the slow roll of progress trolling the ramp for an open space — and we need your place," you could say:
"Nah. Sorry. I like the way the sun comes in the window in the late afternoon in December, and the taillights of the cars are like red counterpoints to the twinkling white of the lights on the trees. Also, I buried a hobo in the basement. It's a long story. Kidding about the hobo! But I'll tell you what: Let's be partners. I'll take half the receipts from whatever you want to build. No? There's the door."
Sometimes it's necessary; I can understand using eminent domain to buy a house where a baseball stadium's planned. You can't have a free-standing dwelling by third base, where someone can run up to the second floor, lean out a window and catch a ball.
But "we want to build something else" is not enough.