Each morning, my golden retriever takes me on a walk along a trail that winds through the woods. On a recent morning, there just wasn’t much going on along the path, so we engaged in the old high school debate team exercise of: “Here’s your topic … choose a side … make three points … you have five minutes … go.”
The topic was the prospect of Sunday liquor sales in Minnesota. My dog went first, arguing against it as follows:
1) If Sunday sales are allowed, assuming the residents of Minnesota and the surrounding states continue to buy the same amount of liquor overall, retailers would work longer and harder, and their expenses would rise, causing them either to earn less profit or raise their prices.
2) We would be enabling people who cannot plan their drinking more than 24 hours in advance.
3) We, as Minnesotans, would be continuing down the slippery slope of behaving more and more like Packers fans. Granted, cheese hats are entertaining, but what would we counter with? Lutefisk lids? Please …
When my turn came, my only argument for Sunday liquor sales was that it would beat the heck out of going to church. At that point, a rabbit hopped across the path. The chase was on, and the debate was over.
Score one for the golden retriever.
TOM MOBECK, Chaska