There was always a moment in the classic sci-fi monster movies where they discovered that the item threatening the earth - a bug, a blob, something horrid - was about to split into two, or reproduce somehow. It'll spread throughout the galaxy! We'll never be rid of it! Anyway: Pauly D, one of narcisstic cretins from "Jersey Shore" - what, you say that doesn't narrow it down? The guy over there on the right. He's going to get his own show.

If I wanted busted eardrums and a case of herpes, maybe. When someone tries to describe your on-screen accomplishments, and your gelled hair is number two, you're missing something in life.