Say you decide to bike the infamous Lakeville Ironman because you detect spring stirring outside the cave. You want to come out, put your snout in the air and take a long drag. There are still places near the Twin Cities where you can smell manure. On this route, you ride through it.
You're excited because you're riding with a group of women from Duluth. The Duluth women can laugh their way through 100 miles of rain and sleet. They can dismantle and reassemble their bicycles in less time than it takes you to remember which pocket holds your Allen wrench.
You start riding, but your hands can't get warm. So you pull off to the shoulder and gratefully accept the mittens a Duluth woman offers. She's got layers to remove and opts to hang back.
You go it alone to catch the main pack. Only you cannot catch the main pack. You are a single self. That's why cyclists form echelons. Like birds traveling south, they know how to sneer at a headwind and know that they travel faster in packs. They know that more legs and pooled resources generate greater power and more speed.
It works like this: When you're at the front of the line, you tuck your head into the wind and pedal hard. You create a tunnel through air, and the others slip easily through. When you tire, the woman behind you thanks you and takes over. She tucks her head down, creates the tunnel and pulls the line. When you're in the group's draft, your legs freshen up. Before long they are asking to dance.
But you're not in the pack, because you paused for mittens. You can't let your legs stop. You imagine the Duluth women riding fast and laughing at each other's jokes. Your core starts overheating. It's freezing outside, but you've sweated through two layers of tights. You want to unzip your jacket and take a drink of water. But you can't miss a stroke. You'll lose ground.
Instead of being a coming-out-of-hibernation-and-let's-chat group ride, this has become a 20-mile individual time trial. And you suffer.
Lactic acid is chewing through your muscle tissue. You're dehydrating, admittedly because you're being fueled by the vodka gimlets you drank last night -- and not by the lentil and multigrain salad that your imaginary self would have chosen.