Mike Sims-Walker became a nice little fantasy football option at wide receiver early this season. After doing nothing in Game 1, he had a combined 278 yards receiving and three TD catches in the next three games. On the site we use, he is listed as being in the starting lineup for more than half the fantasy teams and being on 70 percent of league rosters.
We're guessing, then that Sims-Walker owners were pretty surprised to see him as an inactive this past week against Seattle. The original story was that he violated an unspecified team rule. And now, well, we have some specifics. From the Florida Times-Union (via Deadspin):
Sims-Walker missed bed check Friday night due to a visit with a female friend that went a little long, according to an NFL source, who described the situaton by saying, "undefeated and untied."
Missed bed check? Where were they? Crazy kids. We have no idea what that three-word quote means, but we do believe we know what "visit with a female friend" means. So yeah, Sims-Walker might have cost you a fantasy win while earning himself a fantasy win. (See our amended fantasy football excuse graphic, found here originally in t-shirt form, if you are a Sims-Walker owner).
All of this, of course, makes us very sad that we no longer are producing the hit cable access TV show "Purple Funk" along with Rocket. You see, in the latter stages of our 6.5-year run, we had a graphic feature called "fantasy football tip of the week," which was invariably something ridiculous and intended to make fun of fantasy football call-in shows, such as, "make sure the person you are starting at quarterback is not retired." And then we would follow that with the "football fantasy tip of the week," which was always some vague double entendre involving football and, well, you know.
Mike Sims-Walker might have been the only player in history to appear in both segments in the same week. It's just a shame. A real shame.