Guys, stop it. No celebrities are ever going to move to the Twin Cities — no matter what you read on the Internet.

Not long ago, local headlines cried out like true Beliebers with news that Justin Bieber was buying a house on Lake Minnetonka. False! And recently, local Facebookers were ablaze with speculation that Eminem was moving to Eagan. Eagan!

C’mon, you extremely well-read Minnesotans, we’re smarter than this. I did a deep scientific investigation and discovered this: The Eminem story originated with a website whose contact e-mail on its “About” page is ­fantasynewswebsite@gmail.com. Fantasy. News. Website.

OK, now it was revealed last year that one quasi-celeb had moved to good ’ol Minnesota (Maple Grove, to be exact). That would be the magnificently diminutive one-hit wonder Sisqo.

But if you think the master of “The Thong Song” is a real celebrity these days, you’ve got bigger problems than just falling for Internet trickery.