Intellectual Weinerism

Your boss knocks on your door. "Hey," he says, because that's how people start conversations these days. Ever watch "Fringe"? Every time someone wants to begin a discussion they say "hey." There's probably a supercut of five seasons of "hey" on YouTube.

Okay, now I have to check. Hold on . . .

Hmm. No. Someone get on that, please. Anyway, the boss says "hey" and you look up with the usual flutter in your gut when the boss shows up, and then the boss says "We need to talk," which is bad. If the boss says "do you have a moment?" it might be about giving you more work, or discussing a new project, but "we need to talk" could actually mean "we've discovered that you're tweeting out office secrets pertaining to national security." In which case:

Oh dear. Since the Internet is Forever, the Daily Beast has examples galore.

When you tweet these things under "natsecwonk" you're really begging to be looked at, aren't you? It's intellectual Weinerism.

THUMP The backstory on the existence of this video: the uploader obviously has a DVR, and was able to rewind to capture the moment when the newscaster displayed her astonishing poise in the face of unexpected thumps. Or he sits there with a camera every day, just recording local news. Whatever the case, good luck not playing this ten times in a row:

GULP An expose of an expose: Kernel discusses the matter of Alkaline Water machines, and how they're sold.

It's like they have one weird trick to make you go to that video!

As for the virtues of alkaline water, well, that's nothing new. An ad from the 1930s:

Speaking of scams, let's drop in on "Leonard," the scambot who runs a site designed purely to fool search engines into thinking it's a legitimate site. No link, because that's just what the site wants. The title of this post is "Crookston Minnesota Hotels."

It's a fascinating premise, isn't it? Don't you want to know more? Here you go:

Throw on your car indeed, friends - but don't stop with Crookston Minnesota Hotels. Another entry reveals the mysteries of Richfield!

We'll check back in another few weeks to see what other insights Leonard has.

Speaking of bizarre things on the internet, have you seen this little ad warning about the true hazards of male supplements?

It's like Rodin's "Thinker," except he's pondering how he can open the front door without tearing it off its hinges.

IN JULY? Open Culture is wrong here, just wrong:

Most Orson enthusiasts I know love the Frozen Pea Rant. Here it is, fully animated. As far as being safe for work, there's a sexual reference and a curse word. But it's a curse word uttered by Orson Wells, which is a different matter.