Conversation aboard an alien vessel: “Captain, monitoring of the system’s audio footprint reveals a curious phenomenon. The closer we get to the third planet, the worse the music gets.”
”Have you run those results through the generational attitude compensator?”
”Yes. It appears that the newer material is objectively worse. Here’s the data.”
If you'd like to simulaet that experience, head to lightyear.fm. It's a site that plays the music you’d hear if you were way out in space, listening to FM signals sent long ago. The authors note:
Although Lightyear.fm has radiowaves reaching over 100 lightyears into space, due to the Inverse Square Law of Propagation, any terrestrial radio broadcast would become nothing but background noise just a few light years away from Earth. So take comfort in knowing that all those awesome constellations up there will never hear Rebecca Black.
Poor Ms. Black. The gold standard for music we don’t want to inflict on the galaxy. There’s worse.
When you click on the sides for the project’s creators, you get some devious and ingenious little projects. Briiiiian seems to have come with something to torture the status-conscious: the world's most exclusive website.
A website that only lets people with verified Twitter accounts inside. Once you get in, the site is a series of rooms, each requiring more followers than the last to get into.
If you don’t qualify, it sends you to the Olive Garden. By the way, I would have linked to the Olive Garden to provide a measure of surprise, but it asked to remember my location. Of course I said no. The site refused to take no for an answer, and the request only went away when I clicked ALLOW. That's some quality programming, chaps. The site also allows me to log in, and if they were interested in providing a real authentic experience you would give your name to the site then wait for half an hour before you could get past the front page.
Another creator gave the world likecreeper.com, whose stated purpose is to “randomly like a friend’s horrifyingly old instagram.” Why? Why not? Your friend will see the like and become unnerved. If they care about such things. It’s a reminder that your past is actually sitting back there in the dark, and that just because your streams are always moving forward doesn't mean that you’ll get retweeted with the date stamp “998d.” People always seem to think that the Langoliers take care of their digital past somehow.
Cloak scrapes Instagram and Foursquare to let you know where all your friends, "friends," and nonfriends are at all times so you never have to run into that special someone. Think of it as the antisocial network.
It’s about time. The other day I was trying out an app that made very short videos with a clever effect - can’t remember what it was, but it had that dewy-fresh-idea feel to it. Hey, this could be a new genre!But you had to sign up to use the app, and you couldn’t save them. They had to go through the app’s own network. Invite your friends! Make them invite your friends! It’s social! IT’S SOCIAL! IT’S ONE MORE DAMNED ALERT BADGE ON YOUR SCREEN WITH A NUMBER IN DOUBLE DIGITS!
VotD This’ll teach you to have a bit too much garbage. We all feel this way sometimes, but most of us do not vent our frustration with mechanical appendages.