NBA player Kris Humphries has officially called his future ex-wife, Kim Kardashian, a fraud in documents filed Thursday in Los Angeles Superior Court.
Let the depositions begin!
Humphries' request for an annulment, citing "fraud" as the reason to nullify this union, was his shot-across-the-bow response to Kardashian's surprise Oct. 31 divorce filing. Kim filed for divorce after just 72 days of marriage that followed a ridiculously over-the-top televised California ceremony that probably earned the bride and her "momager," Kris Jenner, millions -- although mom has told media Kim didn't earn "a dime."
It'd be delicious to find out if Jenner's version of reality squares with what's uncovered by Humphries' Minneapolis-based attorney, Lee Hutton III, who is leading a dream team of California lawyers he's assembled for a legal effort that should be chronicled in a documentary titled "Taking on Kim Kardashian, et al." (Don't be confused: The Kardashians enjoy only fake reality, not fact-based documentaries.)
"All the attorneys, Laurence Goldman, Manley Freid, we're litigators," Hutton told me Friday. "We are trial attorneys, no strangers to the courtroom. The burden of fraud is that we have to prove by 'clear and convincing evidence' that Kim went into the marriage with fraudulent intentions. 'Clear and convincing evidence' is more than 'a preponderance of the evidence,' but something just short of conclusive, [as in] 'beyond a reasonable doubt.' "
In Humphries' case, his claim of fraud means he now thinks the events featured in a two-night televised special that culminated in his family's Minnesota minister performing the ceremony were, unbeknownst to the groom, all part of Kim's make-believe-for-reality TV.
He has said, and behaved as though, he married for love, while many now suspect that she married for ratings.
If the Kardashians tell the truth and nothing but the truth in the depositions that logically follow, viewers of their E! shows are going to gain insight into just how scripted reality TV is.
We should, however, expect Kim's side to use their millions to delay and run up Humphries' legal tab before being sworn in, kicking and screaming. But that could backfire on the Kardashian bank account, since Humphries is asking that she pay his legal bills.
The court document also seeks a "legal separation" in the event that the annulment is not granted, which would delay the quickie dissolution desired by Kardashian. The litigators also want a thorough examination of the Kardashian bank accounts, based on legalese about "property assets and obligations, the exact nature and extent of which are not presently known."
Relationship expert Cooper Lawrence told "Entertainment Tonight" that the reason Humphries wants to legally wash away the marriage is he's "embarrassed" that he was apparently used: "I think when he got into it he really thought he was having a real marriage with this woman and he might have been falling in love with her without realizing he was cast as the husband."
I seem to remember Humphries remarking during a pre-marriage planning session dustup that he felt as though Kardashian could plug in any guy for the ceremony. In his very first appearance on her reality show, he also remarked over dinner that after hearing that Kardashian was interested in meeting him he felt like her "prey."
Oh, if Kris had only been listening when his subconscious was speaking!
"TMZ" assignment manager Mike Walters told viewers the fraud filing by Humphries means "he is finally admitting he was just a pawn in this whole wedding scam that was just for television and the reality show."
"TMZ" host Harvey Levin told viewers, "The weird thing is he says he's in love with her but he's literally declared war on her just now. He's basically said she's a fraud."
Another TMZer theorized that after Kardashian's family and friends decided Humphries wasn't smart, Kim decided she had to dump him.
"Suppose she's shallow and suppose he's a moron?" asked Levin. "That doesn't mean you can't have a real marriage."
Depositions (and dare I wish it, a televised trial) would be lovely because the testimony could throw a light on many areas of the Humphries-Kardashian romance. Such as:
• Did the couple meet on Oct. 31, 2010, a year to the day before the Kardashian filing for divorce?
• Did the Kardashians ever have brainstorming sessions about how Kim needed to marry a nice Midwestern boy for the show?
• Were some of the comments and scenes for which Humphries has been widely criticized actually scripted?
• Is there any truth to the Hollywoodlife.com story about Kardashian spending time with her old boyfriend, NFLer Reggie Bush, two days before she filed for divorce from Humphries?
• Was the decision to transport Humphries' family to and from the wedding in a bus a bit of budget-cutting by the Kardashians, who arrived in Maybachs and Rolls Royce Phantoms?
• Was the Kardashian family's ice-cold attitude toward Humphries' family influenced by the fact that the Kim had let her people know this marriage was not for long?
C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or firstname.lastname@example.org. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try.