Bringing up sex before having sex can be awkward. There's the potential of being presumptuous — maybe the person sitting across from you stirring her cocktail has plans to go home and watch Netflix, not continue the night with you.
And talking about sex inevitably brings with it a fleet of other personal topics. Add a sexually transmitted disease to the equation, and that conversation can seem impossible to imagine.
Dating with a sexually transmitted infection, or STI, can be difficult. But it also might be getting easier as the stigma slowly ebbs, experts say. (The CDC reports that the terms STD and STI are often used interchangeably but that, medically, infections are only called diseases when they cause symptoms. Many STIs don't.)
Jenelle Marie Davis, founder of the STD Project, which aims to eradicate the stigma, said people often call her organization after a diagnosis, worried about what it means for their dating life.
"Folks just believe that they will never be able to date again," Davis said. "It's terrifying initially."
But in reality, they are not alone — according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 110 million sexually transmitted infections exist in the U.S. In more than 20 years as a San Diego licensed marriage and family therapist, Sarah Cook Ruggera said nearly everyone she encounters has some type.
"They're hesitant to disclose, share, because of the shame factor," she said. But as more people are talking openly about it, she added, "it can be more normalized."
Honesty, trust and communication are key components in a relationship — and having an STI doesn't change that, Ruggera said.