This is the time of year where we are supposed to be generous and grateful. But I have seen through many of my clients how difficult this can be, regardless of circumstances. Feelings of insecurity make it hard to give what we don't believe we have. People or situations make it challenging to be grateful. And then we feel guilt about not being either. I want to share with you four ideas to free you of some obstacles to generosity and appreciation. This will help you with those end of the year charitable decisions.

Lovingkindness is a positive intent toward others. I was recently frustrated with an interaction I had with someone and could not shake it until I took a moment to try to understand what in that person's background may have caused them to react in such a difficult way.

None of us want to be disliked, so by trying to understand that person better, I could feel benevolence toward them. I also paused and thought about what I was reacting to that may have caused my discomfort.

Compassion is trying to alleviate the suffering of others. One of the things that I have noticed in client relationships is that because someone's suffering can be uncomfortable, there is a tendency to jump in and fix things. This often happens when a client is sick or loses a spouse. A sibling or friend, because they care, tries to take over. The problem with simply fixing things is that the person's suffering is short-circuited. We may be helping them in a way that is more comfortable for us, but not as useful for them.

Instead of taking over, let them know how you can help, what you are willing to do, and ask whether that would be useful for them.

Sympathetic joy is being happy for other's happiness. This is the biggest obstacle that I see in clients' struggling with generosity and gratitude. It is difficult to be grateful when you are jealous of what someone else has. How can you be giving when you see others with so much more than you? Happiness is generative; doesn't it seem silly that the joy of someone else could somehow diminish your own?

Equanimity is a sense of calm. Newton's third law states for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This is true of life. If our highs are too high, we are destined for those low lows. Trying to maintain perspective is an antidote to anxiety.

Considering these four concepts can help you manage yourself and tend to others — a surefire way to be generous and grateful.

Spend your life wisely.

Ross Levin is the chief executive and founder of Accredited Investors Wealth Management in Edina.