We've always meant to attend the wiener dog races out at Canterbury. But we never have. Now, though, we have the next best thing: a true-to-life account of the races from Local Quipster, who was nice enough to compile a guest post that almost kind of makes sense. This is the way we imagine Hunter S. Thompson might have covered the event. LQ?


There are few events that capture the essence of Americana on Independence Day weekend: Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, Major League Baseball, a 4-year-old igniting legitimate fireworks when his mother leaves the party, and the Canterbury Dachshund Dash.

The event on Sunday featured defending champion Ozzie with his steely blue eyes and yippy demeanor. It was a turbulent offseason for Ozzie — first the PED rumors, then the lice, and of course, the incident in the bathroom of Uncle Franky’s in which his bodyguard ended up with a cone.

Taking some heat off Ozzie, in the weeks leading up to the competition there were several competitors who made headlines in the Dachshund Racing community. The #6 dog – a wirehair wiener named Philly — found himself in hot water with the International Dachshund Racing Committee upon rumors that he was in fact 51% Jamaican sheep dog, a fact that would disqualify him from the annual Dash.

The situation escalated at the pre-race press conference when Philly came in wearing a Rastafarian red, yellow, and green hat and simply said “Woof!” before walking off the stage. “At this point, we don’t have the ability to prove anything so he will be allowed to race,” said IRDC chairman Tim Schmidt. “But it’s pretty clear that he is mocking the process and that it’s ridiculous that we put microphones in front of dogs."

At race time Philly went off at 7-2 odds as much of the late betting went to he and Ozzie.

As the wieners came out of the gate, it was clear that the bettors who took a chance of Roli would be rolling in dough. Roli won in a convincing victory, with some other dog getting Place and Philly getting the Show.

After the race, Roli thanked his foster family as he never knew his parents.

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