Q I have two grandchildren, 4 and 6. I love them dearly but really don't enjoy babysitting. They wreak havoc in my house. It takes me a good hour to child-proof before my daughter drops them off and then another hour to put everything back. I'm exhausted! How can I be a good grandma and enjoy time with the kids?

A Let's start by defining "good grandma." Taking two little terrors into your house and keeping them entertained for hours without getting paid for it -- more than once -- is a good start. Another important ingredient is the desire to be a regular part of their lives.

One solution is to do the baby-sitting at your daughter's house instead of yours. That way, you'll save a few hours on the child-proofing, and any property damage will be at your daughter's home, not yours. The downside is that children usually like spending time at their grandparents' house.

So establish simple ground rules. Your grandkids are old enough to understand the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. For example, at grandma's house, there's no jumping on furniture or touching things without asking first. Remember, though, that kids sometimes break things accidentally, so keep anything valuable well out of reach.

As a workaround, do you have a room in your house that you could designate as a play space where the kids won't have to worry about breaking anything? It doesn't have to be fancy: a few pieces of child-friendly furniture, a table, chairs and a good assortment of age-appropriate toys, coloring books, arts and crafts supplies, blocks and so on.

Before each visit, think about what you'll do while they're there. Build in a good mix of indoor and outdoor, active and quiet, group and solo activities.

Give them some choices, but don't forget to include activities you enjoy. Do this now. It'll be a lot harder to convince a 'tween or a teen to go to a museum with you if they've never done it before.

Armin Brott is the author of "The Expectant Father." Send him e-mail at armin@askmrdad.com.