Now we know what The Little Brown Jug contains.

Gopher tears. Sweet, salty, Gopher tears.

Minnesota lost its last and best chance to beat Michigan in the Metrodome on Saturday afternoon, losing the LBJ once again, losing a second game in a row at home to a bad team playing its backup quarterback.

You know what this means, don't you?

A) Ten games into a supposedly transformative season and three weeks after what coach Tim Brewster called a "program-changing" victory at Illinois, we still don't know if the Gophers are capable of beating a good team, or even a bad team playing decently for one afternoon.

B) Eric Decker must be the most valuable player in college football.

Vickie Kettlewell — Star Tribune, Star Tribune
Gophers receiver Eric Decker watched the second half of the game from the sideline. He played the first half despite a sprained ankle.

First, A. The Gophers have won seven games. Four came against weak nonconference opponents. Three have come against weak teams in one of the country's weakest major conferences.

The Gophers have beaten Indiana, Illinois and Purdue in conference play. Those three teams are a combined 5-13 in the conference, and on Saturday Michigan State beat Purdue and Illinois lost 23-17 to one of the Michigan directional schools. (I think it was Take-A-Left-At-Ypsilanti Michigan. Or Western.)

The Gophers have played one pretty good team -- Ohio State. They lost 34-21 in a game that was close only in the minds of those who think college football nirvana is a Saturday night in the Metrodome with the Florida Atlantic Owls.

Saturday, the Gophers got manhandled by a defense that ranked last in the Big Ten in scoring defense, leading us to ...

B. Decker's ankle injury could wind up shifting the Gophers from a New Year's Day bowl to the dreaded Motor City Bowl. He's that important.

With Decker healthy, the Gophers started 7-1. After he injured his ankle during the third quarter against Northwestern, the previously productive Minnesota offense has gone six consecutive quarters without a touchdown.

Decker's ankle injury might have caused him to deflect the pass that Northwestern returned for the game-winning touchdown. He rarely drops a pass, and if he makes that catch, the Gophers might have been able to move into position for a game-winning field goal. Instead, they suffered a stunning and draining loss.

Saturday, with Decker used only briefly before his ankle forced him to the sideline, quarterback Adam Weber looked lost, and the Gophers' offense, left to rely on an unproductive running game and other receivers, made Michigan look like the Steel Curtain of the new millennium.

We knew Decker was good. We didn't know he was a combination of Jerry Rice, an economic stimulus package and a performance-enhancing drug.

With Decker out, suddenly Tim Brewster's "Spread" Offense has become a Spread "Offense."

He should rename it the "Crab." Without Decker, this offense moves sideways, and slowly.

Two weeks ago, the Gophers were trying to figure out which sunscreen to pack for Florida, Texas or Arizona. Now they're again in a position to worry about whether the other team is running up the score.

Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez ordered a handoff for a late, unnecessary, touchdown. Coach Brew declined to complain.

What Coach Brew should know is that at Minnesota, "Please don't run the score up on us" is a line in the school fight song.

"We're not going to wallow in self-pity," Brewster said. "Last year, we were a 1-11 team. We're a 7-3 team now. I don't want to diminish the significance of our improvement."

He doesn't have to. Michigan did it for him.

Jim Souhan can be heard Sundays from 10 a.m.-noon on AM-1500 KSTP. jsouhan@startribune.com