The Guinness Book of World Records, the People magazine of reference texts, is your reliable source for information about the man with the world's longest fingernails. It's always some guy in India with a "please shoot me" expression -- 10 gnarled talons that made you wonder how he blew his nose without slicing off half a cheek. But as the categories have expanded to things like "longest banjo-tuning," Minnesotans have stepped up to join the hallowed ranks.

We don't have long-fingernail guys up here, because it's freezing half the year and they don't fit into mittens. We have records that require accomplishment: the All-Terrain Vehicle Association of Minnesota held the longest ATV parade last June -- 1,632, beating Kentucky's record by 500. A Rochester lad, Chris Chike, was the 2008 record holder for longest sequential button-pushing masquerading as musicianship, also known as Guitar Hero; last April, Chris Raph was crowned World's Fastest Bartender for pouring more than 600 drinks in an hour. (Most of them into glasses, we assume.)

Now a Minnesota guy will attempt to break the Guinness record ... for wearing lots of T-shirts.

Yes, this weekend Ryan Guyer of Madelia will try to wear 300 T-shirts while sitting on a block of ice. That's 160 pounds of Hanes Beefy-Tees. You may ask: there's a previous record? Yes, 227. You may also ask: Why? Maybe some grizzled old gym teacher mentored him: Son, you have a skill for layerin' I ain't seen since Babe Ruth put his uniform over a silk camisole in '21. With the proper trainin', you could set yourself some records.

Maybe -- just maybe -- he's trying to bring attention to the T-shirt printing shop he runs with his brother, Travis, in which case -- happy to help, guys.

Let them be an inspiration to us all, and a reminder: the record for longest vacant Senate seat due to a contested election is still held by New Hampshire (10 months). Consider our last one a mulligan, and let's try harder next time. Hint: it's hard to make a legible vote with 24-inch fingernails.

jlileks@startribune.com • 612-673-7858 • More daily at www.startribune.com/buzz