Follow rules of civility to be a more effective writer — and a better person

To be a better manager, colleague, friend, citizen and presidential candidate, I offer this simple advice: "Bedew no man's face with your spittle by approaching too near him when you speak."

Such wisdom, such sagacity, so elegantly expressed.

That simple precept is from rule 12 of George Washington's 110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation, a set of guidelines composed by French Jesuits in 1595, copied out by hand as an exercise in penmanship by our young future president, published as a book in the mid-19th century and studied today by millions of schoolchildren in our democratic society.

Although many of the rules are entertainingly out of date, all 110 are based on principles of courtesy and respect for others. Here are some of my favorites, along with my take on how they reinforce principles of communication for effective managers:

Rule 6. "Sleep not when others speak, sit not when others stand, speak not when you should hold your peace, walk not on when others stop." Pay attention to others. You're not the center of the universe.

Rule 12 (the first part; the second part appears above). "Shake not the head, feet or legs; roll not the eyes; lift not one eyebrow higher than the other; wry not the mouth." Show respect for others. Don't make fun of people.

Rule 18. "Read no letter, books or papers in company, but when there is a necessity for the doing of it, you must ask leave." If you must take a call or send a text, excuse yourself.

Rule 40. "Strive not with your superiors in argument, but always submit your judgment to others with modesty." Don't argue with your boss. Choose your words carefully to avoid sounding arrogant.

Rule 44. "When a man does all he can, though it succeed not well, blame not him that did it." Give people credit for trying even when they fail.

Rule 47. "Break no jests that are sharp, biting, and if you deliver anything witty and pleasant, abstain from laughing thereat yourself." Be careful not to offend people with your humor, and don't laugh at your own jokes.

Rule 63. "A man ought not to value himself of his achievements or rare qualities of wit, much less of his riches, virtue or kindred." Don't brag about how smart or rich you are.

Rule 68. "Give not advice without being asked, and when desired do it briefly." Don't be a know-it-all. Just because you're the boss doesn't mean you know more than everyone around you.

Stephen Wilbers offers training seminars in effective business writing. E-mail him at wilbe004@umn.edu. His website is www.wilbers.com.