Well, America, if following the election is going to keep you up all night, you might be running on fumes Wednesday morning. Even if you aren’t interested in watching the hours of returns, this march to Election Day has been exhausting, no matter whose name you selected on the ballot.
Some coffee shops, such as the Kingfield neighborhood’s Five Watt Coffee, are donating java to be passed out to voters Tuesday night. And Dogwood Coffee is offering free shots of espresso Tuesday evening to anyone with an “I voted” sticker.
But honestly, is a truckload even enough at this point?
“Yeah, you’re probably going to need some more coffee,” said Caleb Garn, one of Five Watt’s owners. “Something to make your day a little brighter, make you smile after this election mess.”
So if you’re feeling a little slap-happy, we’ve got a handful of well-vetted, caffeinated candidates that you can get behind.
Here’s our list of the Twin Cities’ best elixirs to provide that extra jolt and get you back on track:
The fix: Nitro
What: A smooth, creamy stout-like cold brew, infused with nitrogen and straight from the tap.
You need it if: You actually feel stimulated by the “vibrant” election cycle and you’re going to wear your “I voted” sticker for a second day.
Find it: Blackeye Roasting Co. (3740 Chicago Av. S., Mpls., 612-825-4214 and 330 2nd Av. S. #210, Mpls., 612-367-4095, blackeyeroasting.co)
The fix: The Big Easy
What: Cold press coffee with chicory and nutmeg simple syrup, black walnut bitters and cream.
You need it if: You’re totally drained from all the insult slinging, tweet battles and FBI investigations and you just really need a hug.
Find it: Five Watt Coffee (3745 Nicollet Av. S., Mpls., 612-259-7519, fivewattcoffee.com)
The fix: Kiss With a Fist
What: Sweet agave with a serious kick of sriracha (and, as the baristas note, “attitude”) in latte form.
You need it if: You’re still not even sure what just happened and you kind of feel like you need a slap across the face.
Find it: Vicinity Coffee (3350 Lyndale Av. S., Mpls., 612-545-5972 or 4301 Nicollet Av. S., Mpls., 612-353-5369, vicinitycoffee.com)
The fix: Neon espresso
What: The Surly Furious of espresso – a sipper so bright and acidic, it’s neon.
You need it if: You passed out on your couch sometime after California’s results were tallied, your shirt is inside out and you need some serious help.
Find it: Dogwood Coffee (3001 Hennepin Av. S., Mpls., 612-354-2953 or 4021 E. Lake St., Mpls., 612-886-1585 or 825 Carlton St., St. Paul, 651-340-9248, dogwoodcoffee.com)
The fix: La Colombe Pure Black draft cans and draft lattes
What: Drinks that have the taste and texture of a deep roasted iced coffee or smooth latte, but are available on the run.
You need it if: You stayed up for the whole dang thing, including the post-analysis and an impassioned call from your cousin, and you’re already running 27 minutes late.
Find it: Penny’s Coffee (100 Washington Av. S., Mpls., pennyscoffee.com)