Q Six months ago, my ex and I split up. We weren't married, but we were together for 25 years. We have an 18-year-old who has gone off to college and two dogs that stayed with him. When I left the relationship, we agreed that I could stop by in the morning and after work to see the dogs. Now he's giving me a hard time about it because the girl he cheated with has moved in. Shouldn't he keep the agreement we had? We left on good terms and agreed to be friends.

A It sounds as though the circumstances under which the agreement was made have changed. The agreement might have to be tweaked for you both to be comfortable with it.

It's not uncommon to tweak agreements after a breakup. Even the most important agreement -- child custody -- often is adjusted as the child gets older and circumstances change. What worked when your child was 5 might not work when he's 15. What worked when you first broke up might not work after six months. The key is to talk, listen and compromise whenever possible.

Before addressing that, however, make sure all this is about the dogs and not just an excuse to see your ex. You wouldn't be the first person to look for any reason to see the ex after a breakup. Going to your ex's home twice a day is a lot for you both to emotionally handle -- and might keep you from truly committing to starting a new life. As painful as it has been, you've been apart for six months and he's moved in with someone else. It's time to negotiate a new agreement.

Jann Blackstone-Ford and her husband's ex-wife, Sharyl Jupe are the authors of "Ex-Etiquette for Parents."