Dr. Kevorkian, the assisted-suicide advocate - and by "advocate" I mean he built a death machine in a van and drove around helping people kill themselves - is now the subject of an HBO movie. He gave a press conference yesterday. Not saying he has a one-track mind, but:

Rimshot! The movie, titled "You Don't Know Jack," inexplicably declined to cast boney-bodied James Cromwell as the doc, and chose . . . Al Pacino. Thereby turning the movie into an Al Pacino film. It airs tomorrow. Our TV critic Neil Justin reviews it here.

(If director Barry Levinson has a mordant sense of humor, "My Sharona" will be on the soundtrack somewhere. Kevorkian's lawyer was the brother of The Knack's singer/guitarist. He died earlier this year. Unassisted.)