The "Science of Star Wars" opened at the Science Museum last week. I'll save you the time: There is no science in "Star Wars." It's like the Guthrie putting on "The Really Good Scriptwriting of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory."
"Star Wars" is all about The Force, which is cosmic magic. The movies would be less impressive if Obi-Wan had urged Luke to use The Mumbo-Jumbo, to feel The Mumbo-Jumbo. The Mumbo-Jumbo surrounds us all, Luke. No, old man, I think that's your BO.
Before you send angry e-mails: I love "Star Wars," I can tell you why making the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs doesn't mistake units of distance for units of time, so back off, fanboy. I have every intention of joining the geek queue for a chance to see actual real genuine props.
But let us not confuse the show with actual science. It's like the "Science of Lord of the Rings." Which would be ... metallurgy. And weaving. Gandalf wore a lovely white formal gown in the second one. You can imagine the ads: "Are the Orc factories that turned out legions of hellish warriors similar to our own attempts to genetically engineer better people?"
Well, inasmuch as we're not doing it in the service of rapacious evil bent on possessing a single piece of jewelry, no. That's what cosmetic surgery is for.
Suggested upcoming exhibits: "The Science of 'Sex In The City'," which explains the engineering principles behind Carrie Bradshaw's enormous dress-flower things. "How does she stay standing on heels in stiff winds wearing that thing? Learn the science behind the fashion!"
Or perhaps "The Science of 'American Idol.'" Have evolutionary changes made Simon capable of spitting venom? Does Randy suffer from a degenerative eye disease that makes him think people are actually canines? Use our hands-on electron microscope to find Paula's critical faculties!
Then there's "The Science of Boosting Attendance Figures with Pop-Culture Tie-Ins." But like "Star Wars," that's more of an art.
jlileks@startribune.com • 612-673-7858 More daily at www.startribune.com/buzz
