Here's the headline: Andrew Luck Gets First Whatever It’s Called When You Beat The Minnesota Vikings.
Here's the rest from the Onion.
Remember, people. IT'S PARODY!
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Minnesota's final rally effort was spoiled after stranding two runners on base in the ninth inning.
The former lottery draft picks celebrated Thursday night an Eastern Conference championship and berth in the NBA Finals as Cleveland Cavaliers teammates.
Defense, consistent pitching and offensive outbursts have started to put the Twins into the national spotlight.
Former Timberwolves point guard Stephon Marbury is a megastar in the Chinese Basketball Association. He led the Beijing Ducks to their first franchise championship in 2012 and three titles in four years.
Brannon McManus is expected to be part of the Gophers' 2017-2018 highly touted freshman class that includes star forwards Casey Mittelstadt and Scott Reedy.