LOS ANGELES -- The "Twin Peaks" panel at a TV critics press tour had all the makings of a major waste of time. No questions about the storyline for the sequel would be answered, we were told. No one-on-one interviews with a cast that includes Kyle McLachlan and Laura Dern. Not a snippet of footage. No scheduled appearance by the show's creators, David Lynch and Mark Frost.

Then, a glimmer of hope.

Much to the surprise of the room, Lynch emerged from backstage with the promise that he would entertain questions.

But expectations were quickly dashed. This wasn't Lynch, the innovative director. This was Lynch the performance artist. His agonizing session was a series of elliptical answers, cutesy dodges and bemused grins.

No one was more frustrated than me.

I wasn't looking for details on what happens to the Log Lady. I was mainly interested in finding out how Lynch collaborates with Frost, who was raised in Minnesota.

Here's how I kicked off the press conference:

Q: Can you talk a little bit about how you and Mark worked together, how you divided duties, what he is as a partner for you?

A: Well, in the beginning, many years ago, we were, Mark and I, as if lost in the wilderness, as it always is in the beginning, and then we seemed to find some mountain, and we begin to climb, and when we rounded the mountain, we entered a deep forest, and going through the forest for a time, the trees began to thin. And when we came out of the woods, we discovered this small town called Twin Peaks. And we got to know many of the people in Twin Peaks, and the people who visited Twin Peaks, and we discovered a mystery, and within this mystery were many other mysteries. And we discovered a world, and within this world, there were other worlds, and that's how it started, and that's what brought us here today. This story continues.

Huh?!?!

It didn't get much better.

Other "revelations" from the session:

Q: I wanted to ask about the experience of going back to Washington State and filming outside of Seattle. Did you find that things looked the same, that it was very different? Were there things you had to recreate? What was that aspect?

A: Both the same and different. If you go back 25 years in any town and revisit it again, it's that way. It's many things remain the same. But also, you feel a change.

Q: David, about two years ago, you briefly stepped away from the project. What caused you to leave at the time, and what caused you to come back?

A: I would rather not discuss that

Q: Did you write the story and just hope you could get everyone back that you wanted or did things change as you found out who was interested and who was not?

A: I wrote it hoping for the best.

Uhh, thanks for coming by, David!

Guess we'll just have to wait until the first of the 18 new episodes premieres on May 21, although, based on this performance, we might not get many answers then, either.