Crowdfunding helps couples become parents

SEATTLE – Nick and Stephanie Fattal desperately want to have a baby. They talked about having kids on their first date.

They married in 2012 and hoped that Stephanie would become pregnant. They gave it a "good solid year of trying," but to no avail.

Doctors gave the couple a 3 to 5 percent chance of conceiving naturally. Their best option for having a baby of their own: in vitro fertilization. The price tag with Nick's military discount: $10,000.

"We do well, we make ends meet, and we can provide for a baby," said Stephanie, 25. "But providing $10,000 just to get pregnant was not attainable."

So Nick and Stephanie joined countless other modern couples unable to have a child naturally who have turned to the Internet in hopes of raising money to help cover the costs.

Thirty-six years ago, before the first "test-tube baby" was born, there were few fertility options. Now there is adoption, IVF or surrogacy — all of which are expensive. The Fattals' site has netted $1,740.

One in 8 couples in the United States have difficulties getting pregnant, according to a family growth survey by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Online crowdfunding, where there is no guarantee the money will go toward its intended person or cause, is not without criticism. In addition to its potential for fraud, there are ethical questions.

Jennifer Lahl is president of the Center for Bioethics and Culture, a California nonprofit that explores the intersection of ethics with health, medicine and technology. She says crowdfunding pages, which portray couples in love and desperate to have a baby, don't always tell the entire story.

"Some raise six figures in hopes to get a baby. And when you're so desperate for a child, sometimes it's hard to put the brakes on," she said. "If there is no bottom to it, then will people want to crowdfund the entire life of a baby?"

Barbara Collura, president and CEO of the Resolve infertility association, doesn't share Lahl's concerns. She said crowdfunding for fertility treatments should be considered a way to address a medical issue. "For them to say it's creating a baby is going a little too far," she says.

"The insurance company will pay for you to not become a parent, but they won't help you become a parent when it's something you so desperately want," Stephanie Fattal said. "Once they diagnose you, they say, 'Sorry, you're on your own.' "

Unexpected events also led Leah and Kevin Masseth to create a GoFundMe page to help with the costs of adopting a boy from South Korea. They thought they would have to fly to Korea only once, and that the entire process would take about 18 months.

It's been three years, and the Masseths recently learned they will have to fly to Korea twice, once to get court approval and the second time to bring home their son, whom they have named Noah.

Their initial estimated costs for an overseas adoption were about $25,000, but delays are costing an additional $10,000, according to the Masseths. Their crowdfunding page — which has raised $2,785 — has eliminated some of the financial stress, they said.

The couple post updates saying where they are in the process and breaking down their expenses: $8,334 for airfare to Korea, for example.

For the Fattals, questions of pride or ethics don't matter now. She is 9 weeks pregnant.