Welcome to another installment of "Clearance Clarance," the wildly popular Internet column authored by commenter Clarence Swamptown. As usual, Clarence's opinions on video games and uncalled penalties do not necessarily reflect those of the larger RandBall community or the Star Tribune. Clarence?

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  • I received a Wii for Christmas. This is my first video game system since the 8-year old me was throwing my Atari 2600 controller across the room and cursing at that fat {redacted} Q*bert. I would appreciated any suggestions for Wii games that I may enjoy. I like games that involve beer, sleeping, and food.
  • The Gophers' men's basketball team opens the Big Ten season tonight against Penn State. The game is on ESPN2. Please Tubby, give us something to look forward to between now and the day pitchers and catchers report.
  • In honor of the Vikings' upcoming first-round playoff loss to the Cowboys, this week's Country and Western Song of the Week is "Texas Women" by Hank Williams Jr.
  • Did you see last night's pregame introduction where Jon Gruden and Ron Jaworski were arguing like a couple of idiots? I think it was a joke, but I am not sure. Jaworski was a quarterback and Gruden was a coach so maybe it was a parody of Favre and Childress. The producers of MNF need to stop trying to incorporate humor into the broadcast. It doesn't work. I like Dennis Miller, but he was a failure ("This Vikings-Bears game has more points than a Seurat painting, babe." Ugh.). The Bears called a timeout at the line of scrimmage before the Sidney Rice touchdown play so they could see the Vikings' formation. Jaworksi asked Gruden what he would do in this situation. Gruden said he would keep the same play, but flip the formation to give it a different look. That's the kind of insight I am looking for. No jokes. No hysterical Favre praise. Give me insight into what the coaches and players are thinking.
  • The refs were okay last night and cannot be blamed for the loss. Missed extra points, missed tackles, missed interceptions, and missed coverage are to blame. But did you notice the facemask on AP's fumble in overtime? Pause at the 0:26 mark. I did not notice it at first, mostly because of the swearing and throwing stuff. It's a marginal facemask, but it certainly could have been called.
  • Mr. Brett Favre, when you are playing in cold weather, maybe you could at least try wearing some gloves? Just try them and see how it goes? Maybe just for the first half until your hands warm up? Kurt Warner does it. So does Ben Roethlisberger. We could even stitch some cool W's on them so they look like Wranglers? I promise we won't make fun of you.
  • I like to eavesdrop on the Randballer's Twitter List to find my favorite Randballer tweet of the week. This week's winner is 'with child' @AZGopherGirl from last night's game: "These games are not good for fetal heart rate, I'm sure. If my baby is born type A, Brad Childress is to blame." Agreed. And if your baby is born wearing a stupid-looking ear -flap hood contraption like Robinson Cano in the World Series, you can also blame Childress. Bud Grant didn't wear that kind of nonsense on the sidelines. Just to recap: Brett Favre with gloves = fine. Brad Childress' goofy hoodie ear flap thing = stupid.
  • Sorry, guys. I am kind of grumpy. Please try to have a good day. Skol Vikings?