Each week, commenter Clarence Swamptown gives you his unique views on sports topics and outstate dining/drinking establishments. As usual, his views do not necessarily represent those of the Star Tribune or RandBall. Clarence? -----

As mentioned in this space before, the problem with a weekly blog post that is posted on Tuesdays is that when something interesting happens on a weekend, the statute of internet ranting limitations usually expires by Monday afternoon. So please excuse the following outdated rant, but this weekend's Jim Schwartz-Jim Harbaugh handshake controversy has shined a blinding spotlight on one undeniable fact that no one can argue:

Postgame handshakes are stupid. Postgame handshakes are sold to impressionable youngsters as a sign of "sportsmanship" – a symbol of genuine respect for the game, your opponent, and the spirit of competition. But in reality it mostly says, "Hey kids feel free to lie and cheat during the game. Feel free to taunt your opponent after a victory. Feel free to stomp and sulk after a loss. But just remember to shake your opponent's hand after the game and all of your unsportsmanlike sins will be absolved." Well I call bull-{redacted}. Let's teach our kids to play by the rules and respect their opponent during the game. Let's teach our kids to not mock or pout after a game. Let's teach our kids to congratulate their teammates after a win. Let's teach our kids to search themselves for ways to improve after a loss. But let's not teach our kids to ignore their competitive spirits by forcing them to participate in some forced, insincere symbolic gesture after the last whistle sounds. "Hey thanks for beating us, friend!" is a phony sentiment and everyone knows it. Yes, a postgame handshake allows the truly virtuous to show a sign of respect for their adversary, but those people are few and far between (see Dungy, Tony). More often it allows the winner an opportunity to taunt the loser, and then rightfully get punched in the face (see Blount, LaGarrette). Sometimes it allows the loser an opportunity to seek retribution for alleged injustices (see Brewster, Tim). But it's almost always a bad idea to bring competitors that close together just moments after the game ends and while the adrenaline is still pumping from competition. The postgame handshake is especially stupid in professional sports, where the opponent is literally trying to take your job away. If a professional athlete tells you they enjoy shaking their opponent's hand after losing, they are either: 1) Lying. 2) Canadian. In the NBA, the postgame handshake is more of an informal event - an unintentional consequence of large men sharing a small court and not really having anywhere else to go. In the NHL, the postgame handshake is limited to the end of a playoff series or the Winter Classic – but even then it's just an uncomfortable dance between players whose mutual hatred burns hot and long like a coal shaft fire. The NFL's stupid postgame coaches handshake ceremony only results in contrived controversies like 2007's Belichick-Mangini and this week's Schwartz-Harbaugh. Major League Baseball disavows the postgame handshake altogether – an approach I would like to see all sports adopt. It's a forced and phony expression that teaches our kids nothing about true sportsmanship and only leads to trouble. Either that, or simply allow NFL coaches to also challenge each other to shirtless, bare-knuckle brawls at midfield if they feel insulted. In that case my money's on Mike Singletary, every time. Okay, onto your regularly scheduled debauchery… * Outstate Bar of the Week: There are countless publications and websites that provide comprehensive reviews of urban and suburban nightclubs, but once you get out of the 494/694 corridor it's hard to find an impartial evaluation of an outstate bar. We try to fill that void. This week's OBotW comes to us from fellow RandBall contributor Jon Marthaler. Jon? Name The Blue Note Ballroom, Winsted, MN

What is the bar famous for? Unless you count the Subway or the gas station, this appears to be the only place to eat in Winsted. It has separate entrances labeled "Dining" and "Bar", which is great even though both doors lead into the exact same room. It is also connected to a liquor store. If you walk too far down the left end of the bar, you will have stumbled into the liquor store. Convenience!

How's the food? You can find fancy places that will offer you the choice of size with your burger, and will make a big deal out of having a half-pound version available. This is not that place. You will get a half-pound burger and you will like it, even though it's the size of a boxing glove, and you're enough of a man to finish that burger, aren't you, Jennifer? Also, if you're there after 5pm on the weekend, you can get prime rib - with tater tots, if you so desire. Also, if you order waffle fries, they bring you seasoned sour cream without even asking, unlike your hoity-toity Granite City places that make you pay for that kind of thing. I like their approach to food at the Blue Note.

Can I watch the game there? Sure. They've got TVs throughout, one or two of which are even not CRTs. And they had a Michael Cuddyer jersey (not authentic) hanging up behind the bar, so it must be a gritty kind of place.

Can I watch the NASCAR race there? There was no NASCAR paraphernalia anywhere in evidence in the bar area that I could see. But they had a pool table and a dart board, and so the chances are pretty good you can watch some racin' if you so desire.

Do they have a website? Yes they do. The menu is listed in all lower case, so you might think it's all fancy. Don't worry. It isn't.

Are they on Twitter? I don't think so, but every jazz club or restaurant in the Western Hemisphere is named The Blue Note, so I can't be sure. In case you're wondering, near as I can tell this particular Blue Note has nothing to do with jazz or blues music. They had a meat raffle. I'm not sure Louis Armstrong ever played a place with a meat raffle.

Can I hold my wedding reception there? Of course. Thanks Jon! Your thoughts on postgame handshakes, shirtless bare-knuckle coach fights, and the Blue Note Ballroom are welcome in the comments below.