There should be a little plastic statue of Cher (various outfits available, of course) that you could put on your dashboard or dressing table. Because Cher is the patron saint of underdogs and survivors.
She survived two husbands (one a control-freak, the other a junkie) and one (then-closeted) gay boyfriend, dealt with a daughter who had a sex change and put up with people who criticized her singing, acting and outfits.
But without Cher, Sonny Bono would never have become a famous music figure (let alone a congressman) and Gregg Allman would have probably overdosed. Without Cher, there wouldn't have been a Madonna, Britney Spears or Lady Gaga. Without Cher, there wouldn't have been any celebrity infomercials. (Ah, that's another story.)
Despite the obstacles and naysayers, Cher always believed in herself and that's why she's taking a victory lap — we hesitate to call it a farewell tour after her last farewell tour from 2002-05 visited the Twin Cities three separate times — that included a performance Wednesday night at Target Center in Minneapolis.
And a victory lap for Cher meant she twirled in a chandelier, flew over the crowd on a tiny platform and made her entrance on a pedestal. Where else does Cher belong?
Between the pedestal entrance and the aerial exit, there were many guises. Peacock Cher. Aladdin Cher. Vampire Cher. Gypsy Cher. Sonny's Cher. Pocahontas Cher. Gladiator Cher. Vamp Cher. Disco Cher. Dinner Party Cher. Strip Club Madam Cher. Virgin Mary Cher.
Now you know why she called this her Dressed To Kill Tour. Actually, Tressed to Kill might have been just as apropos. With every outfit, there was a new wig more striking than the previous one. The long black tiny braids. The golden Beyoncé mane. The straight, long black classic '60s 'do. And, best of all, the platinum bob with pink under color.
Frankly, best of all was that Cher shared her personality generously during the 100-minute performance. Sure, most of the patter was scripted, but, after all these years, she knows how to deliver a line — especially sarcastic, self-deprecating ones. When she talked about the physical risks she's taking during the show, she said, "What's my life compared to your happiness?"