Charlie Sheen has issued a statement: he will step down in September, and not pass the sitcom on to his son. Meanwhile, running street battles in Hollywood show that Warner Bros. is getting the upper hand in its struggle with pro-CBS forces. Just kidding.

He's in rehab, but keep in mind he's doing rehab at home. I thought the point was to get addicts out of the situations that facilitated their addictions. It's quite possible he could put his face into the sofa cushions and inhale enough spilled meth to last a week. As for comparing himself to Errol Flynn: the famous swashbucking actor died of drink and drugs at the age of 50. Sheen is 45.