OK, who's had the nerve to grab Larry Fitzgerald Jr.'s tuchus?
The Cardinals wide receiver, and only Minnesotan to make ESPN magazine's 2014 "Body Issue," reports that he's been grabbed about the rear end publicly by women, most of whom are old enough to behave better.
"I'll be walking through the mall and someone will just grab my butt. I look back and it's, like, some 65-year-old lady doing it. I'm like, 'Ma'am, what are you doing?' " Fitzgerald told ESPN's mag. And the reply? " 'Uh, I just wanted to see what was there.' "
He does have a magnificent physique.
While I am able to focus on Fitzgerald's eyes, mouth and hair when I see him, a perfect behind need be no bigger than Fitzgerald's, which is very much on display in the video attached to the online version of this issue.
Fitzgerald spends a lot of time with one thigh strategically raised in video shoot, so as not to thrill the old ladies too much. This issue of the magazine hits the stands Friday.
Fitzgerald claims that he's shy. " … to be honest. If I go to the pool or something, I keep my shirt on unless I'm getting in the water," he told the magazine.
Fitzgerald told the magazine that he's motivated to stay in great shape because "I just want to be able to get back to the Super Bowl again. [The Cardinals were defeated in Super Bowl XLIII, in February 2009, by the Steelers 27-23.] That's what gets you up in the morning. That's what lets you sleep good at night — knowing that you worked your tail off that day.
"I never set out to intimidate the rest of the league with my [offseason] training. I just want to make sure that I'm getting myself in shape and making sure that I'm ready for the rigors of the year. The guys [who] are up there with me are doing the same. A lot of football is really mental. The guy across from you probably went to a big Division I school just like you did, was drafted in the first round just like you were. What really separates you is being able to dig deep and being able to mentally focus when you are tired, when it's hot, when you are hurt; these are the things that you have to be able to push yourself through.
"That initial five-yard burst of explosiveness is the most essential part of the wide receiver/defensive back battle. Especially in press coverage. When a guy is pressing you at the line who is strong … like if Patrick Peterson or Darrelle Revis is lining up at the point of attack with you, if you are quick enough to beat them, that dictates everything. There's nothing more gratifying than seeing your competition break. You can see them with their hands on their knees, gasping for air, hurting."
A feeling apparently shared by some cheeky older women who can't keep their hands to themselves when they see Fitzgerald's 6-foot-3 213-pound frame looking like a mall special.
C.J. can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and seen on Fox 9's Buzz. Emailers, please state a subject: "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened.