Bright side of a nervous breakdown

Having a nervous breakdown isn't on many people's wish lists, but for Todd Patkin, it was just what the doctor ordered.

"It was the most wonderful experience -- after the fact," said Patkin, author of "Finding Happiness: One Man's Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and -- Finally -- Let the Sunshine In." "I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but when you feel enough pain, then you make change."

Prone to depression and anxiety from the time he was a young child, Patkin said he managed to cope by staying busy and being an overachiever. But for him, the turning point happened at age 36, during the height of his career.

"I'd fractured my foot and I was addicted to exercise, and I couldn't exercise anymore," he said. "Then my wife and I suffered from infertility issues -- we have one son, Joshua, but we wanted more children. But we suffered a miscarriage, which was devastating."

Patkin said that with the pain of that loss and the problems with his foot -- one doctor even warned that he might never walk again -- he went to a "dark place."

"And I didn't have the endorphins of exercise to help me out of it," he said. "I mean, I had this beautiful wife, a successful career, a son I loved more than anything, and I didn't care if I lived or died at one point."

Patkin said that after two months of despair, the right doctor finally gave him hope.

Patkin said the first step to changing the tide was learning to love himself unconditionally, which wasn't easy.

"My wife is from Venezuela and she was born with all this unconditional love," he said. "We aren't wired that way in America. You have to think of it as giving the same love and kindness to yourself that you'd give to your spouse or your child. The fix is simple, but it can be really hard to do."

If you're struggling with similar life woes, don't wait to hit rock bottom. Here are Patkin's tips on avoiding that breakdown and finding happiness:

Exercise. "I truly believe the single most important thing is exercise. It's a natural antidepressant. Even 20 minutes of walking. It gets the endorphins going, helps with sleep. That's really important."

Turn off the news. "We need to feed our minds as well as our bodies, so if someone only watches the news headlines, it can create fear and anxiety in your brain, which is what we are trying to rewire. I want you to spend at least 20 minutes a day listening to something motivational -- a different angle on why life is beautiful to help you look at things differently."

Be present in your relationships. "I spent so much time with my son being there physically and not personally. We need to stop thinking about that promotion, or that speech in a week -- so we can really be with our [loved ones] when we are with them."