It has been 72 hours since a Bieber story moved on the wires. Lest anyone forget he exists, the publicists have announced a new product: Bieber cards.

It totally is! Here's the best quote, which gives you an idea of the calculating machinery behind the Bieber juggernaut, or "Biebernaut:"

Got that? A solid merchandise stopgap. The skill of his promotional team really is a thing of beauty; it has an unerring sense of timing and pacing, all designed to haul in as much money as possible while the iron is red-hot. I've never seen anything like it. If the kid makes the move to an adult career, good for him; if not, he'll have enough lucre to do anything he wants. Since it seems highly unlikely he will flame out over drug use or a private-life scandal, he'll probably go into real-estate development. In 70 years there will be an obit about a prominent local philanthropist and mall owner, noting that he enjoyed a career as a singer as a young man. Or he will become a spokesman for orange juice, like Bing Crosby, and a new generation will grow up knowing nothing more about him. That wrinkly chap who peddled juice was a singer once? Do tell. (It's the future, so kids may talk like that.)